The upcoming next few matches...so looking forward to catch them!!
- Germany Vs Argentina
- England Vs Portugal
- Brazil Vs France
These are the matches i'm so looking forward to catch, cos they made me have somethign to look forward to and keeps me occupied at night!
Can't wait for Semi Finals TOO!!!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Tough Part
It's been really tough these few days...but I managed to pull through..well it's only the 3rd day today. Been drinking and all so I can sleep immediately when I get back home.. 3rd day today and i'm falling sick, only after 2 days of continuous drinking. Those who know me, would know i'm not a good drinker yah :p
Friends who goes drinking on weekdays or weekends, ask me along lah :p I sometimes have difficulty looking for drinking partners, cos not alot of my friends drinks :p
Friends who goes drinking on weekdays or weekends, ask me along lah :p I sometimes have difficulty looking for drinking partners, cos not alot of my friends drinks :p
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
It's really painful
It has been really painful...to try to get up on my feet again. I'm sorry my friends, i made you cry and worried.
Please understand that it is a really painful time for me now...I know i must get up on my feet. i know i must be strong. i know...but i guess it really takes time...
I've lost someone so important and precious in my life. It will really take time to heal.
When i cry, i'm not week, i do want to be strong please believe me. But it's just really difficult to get over everything so easily and so soon.
Dear friends, hope you understand.
Please understand that it is a really painful time for me now...I know i must get up on my feet. i know i must be strong. i know...but i guess it really takes time...
I've lost someone so important and precious in my life. It will really take time to heal.
When i cry, i'm not week, i do want to be strong please believe me. But it's just really difficult to get over everything so easily and so soon.
Dear friends, hope you understand.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I guess...it's really the end
I guess it's really the end now... and i guess it's time to move on.
Friends, i'm so sorry if i'm not going to be myself lately. Give me some time. I'll be ok soon. just need time.
Friends, i'm so sorry if i'm not going to be myself lately. Give me some time. I'll be ok soon. just need time.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
ALL I NEED IS JUST ONE MORE CHANCE!!!
All i need is just one more chance!!! Just one more!!!
Please forgive me...i know i'm wrong and i will really change...please just give me one more chance.... please....please...that's all i want...please....
Please forgive me...i know i'm wrong and i will really change...please just give me one more chance.... please....please...that's all i want...please....
I made a wrong move again!
I thought i was ok, i didn't cry for 2 days. But this morning i woke up and realize i was deceiving myself. hiding all my sadness and sorrows inside me, trying to put up a very strong front in front of colleagues and friends. Only to find out now how miserable and sad I am!!!
AND I MADE A FARKING WRONG MOVE TO CALL HIM!!!! NOW I SCARED HIM AWAY AGAIN!!!!
Now i really need some company,but my friends are either working or not able to meet. I really need some company. I just dunno how to hold myself together. I tot i could...but what's happening now... why is this happening...
All i need is just another chance from him...why does he still love me yet he doesn't want to give it another try...why is all these happening when i'm sure we can make things work out??!!!
ALL I NEED IS JUST ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!!
I want to be happy again, i want to be strong...i want to not cry... but...
AND I MADE A FARKING WRONG MOVE TO CALL HIM!!!! NOW I SCARED HIM AWAY AGAIN!!!!
Now i really need some company,but my friends are either working or not able to meet. I really need some company. I just dunno how to hold myself together. I tot i could...but what's happening now... why is this happening...
All i need is just another chance from him...why does he still love me yet he doesn't want to give it another try...why is all these happening when i'm sure we can make things work out??!!!
ALL I NEED IS JUST ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!!
I want to be happy again, i want to be strong...i want to not cry... but...
Monday, June 19, 2006
Realisation...Recovery...Repent
The wound is still raw...it's only the second day...yes..things are difficult.I've cried till i'm tired..and has no more energy to cry cos i didn't eat...It's time..it was really time i wake up, sit up and starting thinking ahead.
I went to my colleague, kenny's place today, to let him help me with a Reiki Healing session. If you dunno what's Reiki healing, it's a buddhism teaching and believe to heal oneself. After the healing session, i felt different, i felt awake, i felt light, i felt that it's time to be true to myself. He lent me a couple of new age buddhist chant cd and i'm listening to it now as i'm typing. Listening to it really helps me feel light hearted and anger-free. He also lent me a book titled " Working with Anger", which teaches one how to be more patient and less angry. After the healing session, I felt that it's time to work on things, and face things that i've always escaped from and hide from. Things I have thought about and want to face it and to change...
1) Realising what I did wrong:
As i think back...I was really in the wrong...that caused all these to happen. If i were to just be more patient, understanding, and less tempremental, things would have been better. I start to think and realise that whenever I get angry and flare up, it actually hurts not only me, but everyone around me, especially the one who is very important and precious to me. I have indirectly passed on alot of negative angry energy to everyone, that reflects badly on me. I'm asking myself now, why was I like that? But i guess there's no point thinking back now, I have to think of how to manage my anger and temper, so that i won't hurt anyone anymore.
2) When I cry:
Yes I do cry alot, crying is the only way to make me release my stress or anger and will make me feel better. i cry not because i'm weak, but it is one way to make me feel better. I guess if i have really learnt to control my anger, crying would be one of my way out, but please do not think i'm weak. I realise now, that i'm wrong, and it's time i repent my sins, and change for the better. For my own good, for everyone's happiness.
3) Friends:
I have been someway or another, neglected my friends for the past 3 years. I have never confided in them whenever i quarrelled with my Bf of whenever i have problems. I kept on leaning back on my bf, which i guess has gave him more pressure cos i'm throwing back the problem at him. It was only through this incident, that i realised, i was so wrong to have neglected all my friends. They were very encouraging and supportive, including my colleagues, my boss! All of them said very encouraging words to support me. Even people who I least expected to console me, they showed alot of support and care and concern. I'm really touched...and grateful. I really know now, how important friends really are...as what Benny has always said to me. I realize...i was wrong..and it's time for me to repent my sins, which is to change for the better.
4) Not to care too much:
I've been caring too much about what people say or think about me, which causes me to be very pressured and negative. Even though alot of times, Benny or my friends would advise me not to think or care too much because some things are not as bad as i think it is. I think it's really time i have to learn to know how when to listen and when not to. to learn how to take things in a lighter manner. This should also help in surpressing my anger.
5) Why didn't i give him freedom?
I guess i was really in the wrong to not give him the freedom, which build alot of pressure and unhappiness in him. Relationship should be about mutual trust, mutual understanding, and accepting the other half for who he/she is. If i trusted him enough, i wouldn't have not given him the freedom he wants. I should respect him and give him the freedom, like how he respects me and gives me the freedom. I guess i really am in the wrong and I have to work on this. To trust, to understand and to let go a bit.
In a short time of 2 days, I have come to realise who are my true friends and who really cares about me. I really apologize for having neglected many of you and doubting you or not listenting to your advises. I would like to thank Erika, Jyun, BJ, Isaac and Quan, Janicia, Yvonne, Lynette, Kevin, Kenny, Lyn, Juliet, Andrew, Darren, Eugene G & S, Leslie, my parents, my sis and last but not least Benny. These people cared for me and was there for me. This is really the first time i've ever felt so cared for and so supported. I've really never known there were so many people who cares for me. I have never felt this before. I'm really touched and no words can describe how grateful I am. Thank you all. The only way i can show gratification would be for me to be strong, and not disappoint you all. Give me time, i will be better. I will stand up on my feet again and be strong.
Not forgetting Melvin, though initially i had difficulties getting along with him and dislikes him. But overtime, i have accepted him as a friend. And He also did play a role in telling me how Benny is feeling, what he wants and what he thinks. As i've just read from the "working with anger" book, it says that the people who are helping u to change and improve is your enemy, not God or Buddha. Buddha is always patient and nice. Enemies are the ones that are giving you chances and opportunity to learn to subdue and control your anger.
As i'm listening to the chant..this is what it says...
May i be free from enmity and danger
May i be free from mental suffering
May i be free from physical suffering
May i take care of myself happily
May my parents, teachers, relatives and friends, fellow dharma farers
Be free from Enmity and danger
Be free from mental suffering
be free from physical suffering
May they take care of themselves happily
I went to my colleague, kenny's place today, to let him help me with a Reiki Healing session. If you dunno what's Reiki healing, it's a buddhism teaching and believe to heal oneself. After the healing session, i felt different, i felt awake, i felt light, i felt that it's time to be true to myself. He lent me a couple of new age buddhist chant cd and i'm listening to it now as i'm typing. Listening to it really helps me feel light hearted and anger-free. He also lent me a book titled " Working with Anger", which teaches one how to be more patient and less angry. After the healing session, I felt that it's time to work on things, and face things that i've always escaped from and hide from. Things I have thought about and want to face it and to change...
1) Realising what I did wrong:
As i think back...I was really in the wrong...that caused all these to happen. If i were to just be more patient, understanding, and less tempremental, things would have been better. I start to think and realise that whenever I get angry and flare up, it actually hurts not only me, but everyone around me, especially the one who is very important and precious to me. I have indirectly passed on alot of negative angry energy to everyone, that reflects badly on me. I'm asking myself now, why was I like that? But i guess there's no point thinking back now, I have to think of how to manage my anger and temper, so that i won't hurt anyone anymore.
2) When I cry:
Yes I do cry alot, crying is the only way to make me release my stress or anger and will make me feel better. i cry not because i'm weak, but it is one way to make me feel better. I guess if i have really learnt to control my anger, crying would be one of my way out, but please do not think i'm weak. I realise now, that i'm wrong, and it's time i repent my sins, and change for the better. For my own good, for everyone's happiness.
3) Friends:
I have been someway or another, neglected my friends for the past 3 years. I have never confided in them whenever i quarrelled with my Bf of whenever i have problems. I kept on leaning back on my bf, which i guess has gave him more pressure cos i'm throwing back the problem at him. It was only through this incident, that i realised, i was so wrong to have neglected all my friends. They were very encouraging and supportive, including my colleagues, my boss! All of them said very encouraging words to support me. Even people who I least expected to console me, they showed alot of support and care and concern. I'm really touched...and grateful. I really know now, how important friends really are...as what Benny has always said to me. I realize...i was wrong..and it's time for me to repent my sins, which is to change for the better.
4) Not to care too much:
I've been caring too much about what people say or think about me, which causes me to be very pressured and negative. Even though alot of times, Benny or my friends would advise me not to think or care too much because some things are not as bad as i think it is. I think it's really time i have to learn to know how when to listen and when not to. to learn how to take things in a lighter manner. This should also help in surpressing my anger.
5) Why didn't i give him freedom?
I guess i was really in the wrong to not give him the freedom, which build alot of pressure and unhappiness in him. Relationship should be about mutual trust, mutual understanding, and accepting the other half for who he/she is. If i trusted him enough, i wouldn't have not given him the freedom he wants. I should respect him and give him the freedom, like how he respects me and gives me the freedom. I guess i really am in the wrong and I have to work on this. To trust, to understand and to let go a bit.
In a short time of 2 days, I have come to realise who are my true friends and who really cares about me. I really apologize for having neglected many of you and doubting you or not listenting to your advises. I would like to thank Erika, Jyun, BJ, Isaac and Quan, Janicia, Yvonne, Lynette, Kevin, Kenny, Lyn, Juliet, Andrew, Darren, Eugene G & S, Leslie, my parents, my sis and last but not least Benny. These people cared for me and was there for me. This is really the first time i've ever felt so cared for and so supported. I've really never known there were so many people who cares for me. I have never felt this before. I'm really touched and no words can describe how grateful I am. Thank you all. The only way i can show gratification would be for me to be strong, and not disappoint you all. Give me time, i will be better. I will stand up on my feet again and be strong.
Not forgetting Melvin, though initially i had difficulties getting along with him and dislikes him. But overtime, i have accepted him as a friend. And He also did play a role in telling me how Benny is feeling, what he wants and what he thinks. As i've just read from the "working with anger" book, it says that the people who are helping u to change and improve is your enemy, not God or Buddha. Buddha is always patient and nice. Enemies are the ones that are giving you chances and opportunity to learn to subdue and control your anger.
As i'm listening to the chant..this is what it says...
May i be free from enmity and danger
May i be free from mental suffering
May i be free from physical suffering
May i take care of myself happily
May my parents, teachers, relatives and friends, fellow dharma farers
Be free from Enmity and danger
Be free from mental suffering
be free from physical suffering
May they take care of themselves happily
It's the end...
2 weeks was definitely not enough for me to prove myself. I really needed more time! Why do you have to give up so soon? 3 years of time and effort has all been flushed down the drain. Is seperation the best solution? It's just a shortcut! Why does things have to end up this way??!! If you still love me why dont you believe that i will change? Give me more time and we'll be happy once again...
What I hate most now is this forgetting process, which is the most painful. How do I stay on and stay strong..It seems so difficult for me to face anyone and anything now!! HOW???!!!! I'M SPEECHLESS!!!!
What I hate most now is this forgetting process, which is the most painful. How do I stay on and stay strong..It seems so difficult for me to face anyone and anything now!! HOW???!!!! I'M SPEECHLESS!!!!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
World Cup Face Painting Fever @ Week 2
Another week of world cup fever at Cineleisure. This time i set up my face painting booth on level 1, at the external area. Business was much better!! Not like i'm making money, it's a free service, but it's just satisfying when people want to get their face or hand painted. Last night Erika and I painted at least 10 people! Unlike last week, only about 2 per day.
One of the Singapore Idol's finalist from the first season, this guy, i can't remember his name lah. He and his whole group of about 8-9 friends all painted. Some wanted to paint Thailand flag cos they're from thailand, one painted singapore, and one painted holland with the text holland painted below the flag, cos don't want people to mistake that as Serbia Montenegro. Haha. Check out pictures below lah :D
Looks fun right??!!! Come down and let me paint you lah! Erika and I will be there every fri and sat 8pm - 11pm for the whole month of June :D
One of the Singapore Idol's finalist from the first season, this guy, i can't remember his name lah. He and his whole group of about 8-9 friends all painted. Some wanted to paint Thailand flag cos they're from thailand, one painted singapore, and one painted holland with the text holland painted below the flag, cos don't want people to mistake that as Serbia Montenegro. Haha. Check out pictures below lah :D
Looks fun right??!!! Come down and let me paint you lah! Erika and I will be there every fri and sat 8pm - 11pm for the whole month of June :D
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
World Cup semi finals on big screen tickets !!!
Hey hey all! Not sure how many people reads my blog but i'm just trying my luck lah! :D
Anyone keen on semi final matches on big screens (cineleisure cinema halls)??
I've got a really good deal here! Just pay $18, you'll get:
- 1 E2Max card for 1 year membership (worth $18)
- 1 goodie bag welcome pack (worth $38. Includes E2max e-game vouchers, bowling vouchers, limited edition trexi, electronic gaming monthly magazine, lanyard, tote bag)
- 1 x Cathay Cineleisure E-Cinema movie vouchers (worth $9.50 and can be used to watch any movie that is screened in E-cinemas, and any time)
- 5 x tickets to catch Semi Finals on big screens at Cathay Cineleisure Orchard.
(PRICELESS)
Just that simple, $18 and everything is yours!!!! Without any conditions!
Help me spread the words, and drop me a msg here or email me at aiko_strawberry28@hotmail.com if you're interested.
Show your support please :D CheeRs!
Anyone keen on semi final matches on big screens (cineleisure cinema halls)??
I've got a really good deal here! Just pay $18, you'll get:
- 1 E2Max card for 1 year membership (worth $18)
- 1 goodie bag welcome pack (worth $38. Includes E2max e-game vouchers, bowling vouchers, limited edition trexi, electronic gaming monthly magazine, lanyard, tote bag)
- 1 x Cathay Cineleisure E-Cinema movie vouchers (worth $9.50 and can be used to watch any movie that is screened in E-cinemas, and any time)
- 5 x tickets to catch Semi Finals on big screens at Cathay Cineleisure Orchard.
(PRICELESS)
Just that simple, $18 and everything is yours!!!! Without any conditions!
Help me spread the words, and drop me a msg here or email me at aiko_strawberry28@hotmail.com if you're interested.
Show your support please :D CheeRs!
Monday, June 12, 2006
World Cup Fever at Cineleisure
Just in case you don't know, you can actually catch nightly screening of live soccer matches at Cineleisure E2Max @ Cine-L9 (Level 9). Alot of activities going on at Cathay and E2Max!
Click here for more details lah!
Every fri and sat nights, I'm there to do face / hand painting of flags for free!! So support your fav team, and support me, come let me paint on you lah!!! :P See below, i painted the Korean flag! U want brazil also can ah! Come lah :p
My friend Erika will paint soccer ball for you! :P
Click here for more details lah!
Every fri and sat nights, I'm there to do face / hand painting of flags for free!! So support your fav team, and support me, come let me paint on you lah!!! :P See below, i painted the Korean flag! U want brazil also can ah! Come lah :p
My friend Erika will paint soccer ball for you! :P
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Coming Back Performance
RISE will be performing at Singapore Street Festival 2006, Thursday 8th July 8pm at Cineleisure. This time, I'm doing a Coming back performance. No no it's not going to be SLUFFLE!
I was with RISE 3 years ago. RISE is actually a sing and dance girl group, and had performed at quite a few places before. Well well, i miss performing, so since I'm still not VERY old and still got a bit of that performing zest and energy, I thought i can just make a little come back on the stage. :D
I'll just be singing lah, no time to practice dance with my 2 seniors, Jyun and Erika :p
If you wanna hear how horrible I sing, do come down and support but dun throw eggs lah k :P no banana skins too :P
It's late now cos just got back from practice. Super tiring and hectic week this week. Good nite for now :)
I was with RISE 3 years ago. RISE is actually a sing and dance girl group, and had performed at quite a few places before. Well well, i miss performing, so since I'm still not VERY old and still got a bit of that performing zest and energy, I thought i can just make a little come back on the stage. :D
I'll just be singing lah, no time to practice dance with my 2 seniors, Jyun and Erika :p
If you wanna hear how horrible I sing, do come down and support but dun throw eggs lah k :P no banana skins too :P
It's late now cos just got back from practice. Super tiring and hectic week this week. Good nite for now :)
Monday, June 05, 2006
A ray of hope
I've been given ONE LAST CHANCE....and this time...i will have to no matter what...take this chance and make life happy for both of us... I will be better..and I have to be better...it's just for my own good..and also for our own good.
Please have faith in me...faith in us...my dear baby..my dear friends...a better me will emerge for a better life and future. I must be happy and I will be happier...cos I want to be!
Please have faith in me...faith in us...my dear baby..my dear friends...a better me will emerge for a better life and future. I must be happy and I will be happier...cos I want to be!
The end has come...
Many unforseen stuffs has happened for the past 2 weeks. Things that I didn't even expect could happen.
After coming to 3 years of happiness and sadness...things will be coming to an end soon...something I really don't wish to happen...someone i can't be without...many things that I have gained throughout these years...may be coming to an end soon.
I know..there are no shortcuts to life, but some people are strong enough to go on...some may not be strong enough to even hold on. Some people likes to take short cuts in every aspect of life...some doesn't. Some just don't give a damn at all.
My Baby..I just want to tell you that i'm sorry...and i've taken too many chances in life already and I know there are not many more left. I thank u for your guidance and care and love. These few years has been a fruitful one... both emotionally and physically. both your babies will remember you for life and will always love you... eternally... you've been really special..you were my sunshine... you were my meaning to life... Our future is not meant to be seen, it's meant to be created...but life has just that few chances for one to take, to make things happen. I guess the chances I'm given has way exceeded it's limits. I'm really sorry...i really am...
After coming to 3 years of happiness and sadness...things will be coming to an end soon...something I really don't wish to happen...someone i can't be without...many things that I have gained throughout these years...may be coming to an end soon.
I know..there are no shortcuts to life, but some people are strong enough to go on...some may not be strong enough to even hold on. Some people likes to take short cuts in every aspect of life...some doesn't. Some just don't give a damn at all.
My Baby..I just want to tell you that i'm sorry...and i've taken too many chances in life already and I know there are not many more left. I thank u for your guidance and care and love. These few years has been a fruitful one... both emotionally and physically. both your babies will remember you for life and will always love you... eternally... you've been really special..you were my sunshine... you were my meaning to life... Our future is not meant to be seen, it's meant to be created...but life has just that few chances for one to take, to make things happen. I guess the chances I'm given has way exceeded it's limits. I'm really sorry...i really am...
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